Views from Cedar Mountain on a perfect full moon night…

Paul and I went with the children up to our family cabin on Cedar Mountain to enjoy the moonrise on saturday night. It was really fun spending time together playing games and singing and dancing on the mountain. Kyle is here for the wedding on saturday and we were cracking up as he and Allison showed us some of the dance moves they were thinking about doing at the reception.

Since I struggle with the reality that I am an adult (in my heart I am 12 years old about sixty percent of the time), the idea of being the Mother of the Bride at my daughters wedding this saturday truly is mind bending.

I look at that photo of us happy up on the mountain (and yes, it is true, I am not wearing a certain article of underclothing that would make me look more put together…it was steamy hot on saturday night and I just couldn’t bring myself to slap that big old piece of polyester around my upper mid section, and yes I know I could pass for a tribal woman with my “baby on the breast for majority of my adult life” figure. But I did spend 14 years with one or two babies in my arms suckling away and although only one member of our family is now perpetually interested in my boobies, I pretty much only attempt a maidenform look when I go to church. Yes, I will be wearing a bra in the wedding pictures, I am after all, the MOTHER OF THE BRIDE, but I wish some enterprising soul would take on the task of creating a modest clothing line for us mid life broads who spent our twenties and thirties pregnant and breastfeeding and really don’t like wearing contrictive clothing. Our Korean sisters have a traditional look that would probably do the job well. Korean Dress There is a reason why on this blog you almost always see headshots of yours truly and I almost never appear in my videos, but only hear my speaking voice….and that is because I spend the vast majority of my time as a woman in “comfortable” leisure wear and birkenstocks happily working in my kitchen and garden safely tucked away from the prying eyes of neighbors while I do my daily work…sans Brassiere) and I just feel glad.

I shared this article with Allison a few weeks ago.

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From the Salon Article: Most Women Can Skip Pelvic Exam

WASHINGTON (AP) — “No more dreaded pelvic exam? New guidelines say most healthy women can skip the yearly ritual.

Routine pelvic exams don’t benefit women who have no symptoms of disease and who aren’t pregnant, and they can cause harm, the American College of Physicians said Monday as it recommended that doctors quit using them as a screening tool.

It’s part of a growing movement to evaluate whether many longtime medical practices are done more out of habit than necessity, and the guideline is sure to be controversial.

Scientific evidence “just doesn’t support the benefit of having a pelvic exam every year,” said guideline coauthor Dr. Linda Humphrey of the Portland Veterans Affairs Medical Center and Oregon Health & Science University.”

I was wowed by this truly revolutionary thinking. I have not had a pelvic exam since Andy was born almost eighteen years ago and I found myself in the ER after his homebirth with a busybody ER doc up to his elbows in my business. Since that day I have not subjected myself to the yearly female ritual that was so revolting to my sensibilities when I went to my pre wedding exam a few weeks before our nuptials in 1988. I found the whole exercise to be degrading, embarassing, and sadly “triggering” to my sexually abused 20 year old body.

Allison has decided to forgo the ritual and I am so pleased with her clairty on the subject, it will serve her well in the years to come as she makes the important decisions about who gets to “treat” her as she lives out her gynocological life. Thankfully I was able to break free of the thinking that a yearly pap is just part of female existence. I pray that my daughters, readers, and all loved ones continue to question medical orthodoxy and family patterns, especially as it relates to our reproductive life.

I can feel that this week is a definite turning point for us in our family life. I have observed my best friend Susan become Mother of the Bride and then Grandmother with dignity, grace, confidence, and wisdom. I hope I can grow into it half as good as her.

Thanks for stopping by, I would love to hear your stories in the comments below of how you have managed to fit into our society even if, like me, you choose to reject medical orthodoxy and societal expectations for fashion, clothing, and presenting yourself as a woman, especially if, as I have illustrated, you are a plus size gal with really big boobs.

Jenny Hatch

Jenny nursing Ben while Nephew Dylan takes a Nap!

Jenny nursing Ben while Nephew Dylan takes a Nap!

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